Running Privacy Laws?

After almost 28 years on this green earth, I’m pretty secure with acceptable social standards of conduct – I say “God bless you” when someone sneezes and I don’t make a big deal if a coworker passes deadly gas in the same room. I silently die inside, but I don’t purchase a coffin.

However, there seems to be an entirely different code of social standards for runners – some are obvious and others must be dealt with on less secure footing. Whether you are a new runner or veteran, it is common sense to politely pass someone slower than you and not barrel past them. And if a runner is clearly struggling on the last leg of a marathon, you are supposed to shout out, “You’re doing good! Keep it up, only a few more miles to go, you can do it!” – when in reality you want to say, “In the name of everything holy, you look horrible man,, can I call you a taxi to take you to the hospital so I don’t feel guilty if you have a heart attack right in front of me? I don’t even know CPR.”

 But the runners’ etiquette that has always eluded me is if you can ask another runner their race times. I’m not referring to the runners who update their facebook status with “OH YEAH just did the half marathon in 1:30, its ice bath time baby!” (true status update of someone I know). Those are the beacon of light runners, who even in the fog of everyday conversation will somehow manage to tell you their race times – Oh, so you had a baby and PR-ed in the same week, wow……I’m going to just vomit over here now. I’m confused about the everyman runner who keeps their times to themselves, but made mention of a race earlier……so can I ask their time, or since they didn’t offer it – is that none of my business?

If I look at it from the runner’s standpoint, I feel that my times are open to discussion – they are listed on the race results page anyway. Clearly I can’t tell my friend that I ran the 5k in 23:32 when the website says 28:02. The jig is up.

 From the most logical view, it is a race after all; I participated in an athletic competition for a timed result. Whether I ran the race to beat my own previous time or the time of the 80 year old that I’m (fairly) certain I can pass – it is still timed for placing in a race. However I get the sense that some runners will openly share that they are racing, but never want to mention numbers afterwards. They will even remark about how their big toenail finally turned black and fell off (because that's what I want to hear about before I've had my Sheetz coffee in the morning) – yet they look completely taken aback when I ask about race times.

 It’s not that I want to know out of self indulgence in case I’m faster than you (that, um….hasn’t really happened) – I want to know because we talk about training, speed-work, hills, and everything else related to running – I am naturally curious how it all cumulated.

 I know we live in a very coddled society, where you aren’t really allowed to ask questions that might make someone feel anything less than great. But if I can put on my big girl pants and tell everyone about my 5:30 marathon time (I pathetically limped the last six miles, ah….the sweet memories….), then even if your time was not what you anticipated – you should feel that as part of the running community, we have all been in that boat before (with Jaws actively circling it). I rationalized that I couldn’t talk about my marathon for six months ahead of time, update those interested with training session chats, and take vacation time off work to run the race, then NOT give people the end of the “story”, even though it quite frankly sucked. Up until mile 20, I was on course for a 4:20 first marathon, so I had a hearty cry over my actual 5:30 finishing time. But that’s what happened and as a runner, I can openly share good and disappointing times with other runners without feeling judged.

 Am I wrong on this?