Cows go "mooooooooo"

I live outside the city of York, Pennsylvania in Hallam so I consider myself pretty fortunate to run mostly back country roads with minimal traffic and stunning views. The biggest advantage as an animal lover is that I get to see donkeys, horses, deer, cows, skunks, and birds of every color in the Spring/Summer, so no matter which way I run – I typically come across some animal that looks cute from afar (eh….maybe not so much the skunks, still trying to find their redeeming quality).

When I managed to crawl out of bed yesterday at 6:17 a.m., I was pretty pumped to run because the weather was gorgeous and I need time away from my beloved pug, who kept me up all night whining about only god knows what. I decided to run a 4.5 mile loop that is pretty hilly but doesn’t include any repeats so time seems to go a little faster on that route. The run itself was a little more difficult than anticipated – I was never able to quite catch my breath and the entire effort was far more labored than it should have been. However, my lack of appropriate breathing skills isn’t the point of the post (I'll save the gem of post for another day); when I was running I saw a small black kitten with intense green eyes staring at me from the cornfields. Its fur was as close to midnight in coloring as you could get and the kitten stared at me as I contemplated cat-napping him because he was so freaking adorable. I’m certain he models for CatFancy on his days off from randomly sitting in cornfields.

I slowed down passing him (slowing down from a 10+ m/m is pretty much walking I believe) and made that sound that cats actually pay attention to – the “pshhh pshhh” noise to signal to him that I’m clearly an awesome individual with only good intentions to adopt him and build him a little kitten castle. The motive wasn’t to pick him up or anything, just to get a better look – but this kitten quickly decided that not only was I out of shape (cats judge), but also that I wasn’t worth his time. He raised his paw to show me he meant business with sharp claws, and then proceeded to hiss at me twice until I moved on.

I’ve gotten the same reaction in the past when I tried to make friends with the horses and baby cows on my running routes (minus the sharp claws or else those would have been some some scary ass mutant horses and cows). Apparently my farm yard neighbors aren’t enthused that I’m running past their domain and want to eat their crappy grass in peace.

So I have decided to discontinue my foreign species peace efforts while I run and concentrate my animal affections on those that appreciate it – our pug, beagle, and boxer that eagerly wag their tails when they see me come back from a run all sweaty and gross looking. Besides, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that everyone else came to seemingly decades ago…..cats are jerkoffs.

I want for nothing..............except some highly priced items.

I think it’s pretty well known fact that even though running in theory is free, it can actually be so expensive that I want to dig my eyes out with a spork once I add up all the costs depleting my paltry bank account. I really do try and keep my running expenses down – I only purchased a $4 lunch bag at my last race expo, I completely bypassed the $100 pain relief electro-ipod thingy that my dad fell victim to buying (sucka!). My running drawer has a minimal – yet utterly fashionable – array of choices, and I only recently replaced my bikilas after I discovered that they are not in fact, machine washable. They should tell you that kind of stuff on the label--- oh wait, something is coming back to me……they did mention that….in bold print.

My financial pitfalls have been races and the atrocious associated fees of gas, lodging, and entry fees. Here’s a bit of advice I wish someone had given me eight months ago: there is no benefit whatsoever in selecting the host hotel as my choice of lodging and it will cost me approximately a crap load more to stay there than the reasonably priced hotel down the street. Not only will it cost me more of my precious dinero to stay there, but in some cases the host hotel isn’t even near the start OR EFFING FINISH of the race (Shamrock Marathon, I’m looking at you). As a newbie runner I think I learned my lesson; have my husband make the reservations with his card, then forget where my credit card is during check out. *

As much as I try to be reasonable with my finances, there’s still some basic material necessities in running that would make my world a lot happier. As I list these items, keep in mind that there’s no need to look up the definition of the word necessity.

1. Garmin 405 – why? Because I’m frankly tired of wearing a computer on my wrist, otherwise known as the Garmin 305. I feel very outdated with this piece of plastic - I've run through Amish country roads and I know I heard chuckling from someone churning butter.

2. Nike Women's Cyclone Jacket - this jacket is so cute and functional that I would be tempted to see if the barter system could be revived and see if the website has any use for a pug. (Because I wasn't a helicopter pet parent, the only trick Hershey knows is "sit", so clerical work might be out).

3. Nathan Women's Intensity Backpack - I admit that I didn't do my fair share of lugging around the water on our longer runs during marathon training, so I would like to make up for it now with this most awesome backpack. The alabaster runner should take me up on this offer and immediately proceed to the online checkout.

I should be grateful that I have crapper cheaper versions of everything on this wishlist, certainly there are bigger bills to battle first. But I believe the ultimate question this post raises should be: Will I die without getting these items? 

Yes, yes I will.

*Set a block from allowing the husband to read blog. No sense of humor.*

Start slowly, then taper off....

Since this is my first blog, I'll do a quick background check on myself and give you the basics...

This is me....

This is my insanely smart pug (thank you TIME Magaine), Hershey.....

and this is what a zombie looks like running....

This is how the three are related to one another, follow the bouncing ball on this one - I love to run, I'm trying to get Hershey to run more than 1/2 mile, and my pace is slightly faster than that of a zombie. It's not as smooth as a Kevin Bacon connection, but you get the idea. Maybe.

Let me clarify by breaking down the basics about myself in order to have this blogging endeavor make sense.

1. I run a crazy fast 10 m/m, which actually gets even slower as I go over the bajillion hills in my neighborhood. I imagine to those watching me I must resemble something of a perkier zombie trolling about the streets. Basically, I need to incorporate some more speedwork into my runs. I'll pencil that right in.

2. My darling husband Travis is my running partner and because he's so - what's the phrase - alabaster white, he tends to bogart the sunscreen on hotter runs.

3. One of my goals is to run a doggie dash with my lovable pug Hershey, but she doesn't have the dedication of the Olympic althetes that I hoped she would possess. She's actually sleeping right now, clearly the ten hours she slept while I was at work didn't cut the mustard today.

4. My shoe of choice is the Vibram Bikila with shoelaces, that's right, the brand spanking new edition! Woot! Although I love minimalist shoes, I respect anyone's shoe choice - this is a safe place. Let's hug it out.

5. I recently ran my first marathon, the Yuengling Shamrock Marathon on 3/20/2011. I don't want to say it didn't go well, but I will most definitely not be purchasing the outrageously priced race photos of myself HOBBLING to the finish. (Of course there's not one friggin' photo of me running the first 21 miles of the race - that would be crazy, who would want a running photo to commemerate their first marathon?)

6. Whenever I initially type "marathon", I always stick a "g" on it and come up with "marathong". I had to edit this inital post six times to correct that mistake already. You're welcome for the little gem of knowledge.

7. I want to connect with other runners and talk about how Under Armour is ridicously expensive, how I know the weather forecast for the next ten days, and complain about how women's race shirts always fit poorly (that is bull crappity - ).

Have patience with the blog, this is something new for me - and I really don't even like the word blogging. I'd like to think I'm writing on the internet with flare. Please feel free to comment and I'll be back soon.

Outtie.